Who are you people

24th April 2014

Chat reblogged from pizza ✌ with 126,375 notes

  • kid: dad whats a 69
  • dad: well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]

Source: harrygiggle

24th April 2014

Photo reblogged from get your zappers, set them to pew with 161,278 notes

mr-egbutt:

WAKE UP POTTER
WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO

mr-egbutt:

WAKE UP POTTER

WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO

Source: mr-egbutt

24th April 2014

Photoset reblogged from The new needs friends with 2,255 notes

Source: tomhazeldine

24th April 2014

Photo reblogged from The new needs friends with 10,502 notes

chiaki-nanamayor:

dude, why are you wearing a table.

chiaki-nanamayor:

dude, why are you wearing a table.

Source: chiaki-nanamayor

24th April 2014

Photoset reblogged from get your zappers, set them to pew with 51,537 notes

afresherowtlook:

Trust.

Source: wenchyfloozymoo

24th April 2014

Photo reblogged from reincarnated from SHITLOADOFWORDSANDPHOTOS with 238,030 notes

mixolydian-maelstroms:

bogleech:

what-are-you-doing-here:

goddessofcheese:

brofligate:

did-you-kno:

Source

There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.

CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH
This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.
She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean.  If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean.  Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death.  Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at.  Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.
Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.
Ching Shih said fuck that.
She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.
For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.
tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.

i will be as badass as she

You know, I heard of her, but I’d either forgotten or never heard that she grew old and retired having never been brought down or defeated ever.
She won being a pirate.
She got history’s high score.

Always reblog the best pirate of all times.

mixolydian-maelstroms:

bogleech:

what-are-you-doing-here:

goddessofcheese:

brofligate:

did-you-kno:

Source

There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.

CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH

This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.

She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean.  If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean.  Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death.  Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at.  Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.

Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.

Ching Shih said fuck that.

She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.

For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.

tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.

i will be as badass as she

You know, I heard of her, but I’d either forgotten or never heard that she grew old and retired having never been brought down or defeated ever.

She won being a pirate.

She got history’s high score.

Always reblog the best pirate of all times.

Source: did-you-kno

24th April 2014

Photo reblogged from Stick My Dick Up In It with 44,338 notes

shreksforthememories:

welcometothe1jungle:

Ken Doll Prison Shank, taken off a prisoner in a London Metropolitan Police station in 2013.

shreksforthememories:

welcometothe1jungle:

Ken Doll Prison Shank, taken off a prisoner in a London Metropolitan Police station in 2013.

Source: welcometothe1jungle

19th April 2014

Post reblogged from hi it me with 374,903 notes

spermbanker:

IF U DO NOT LIKE ME:
1. Me neither
2. I don’t care

Source: spermbanker

19th April 2014

Post reblogged from butttttt with 53,919 notes

farrahtales:

If you don’t strategically eat your food so that the last bites to go in your mouth are the tastiest look at your choices

Source: farrahtales

19th April 2014

Post reblogged from butttttt with 61,706 notes

krocatoo:

Having to google internet slang your friend is using because you have no idea what the fuck it means.

image

Source: krocatoo